Greentext thread (because im lazy)

Today I'm blogging from my mobile, meaning im too lazy to post real content.
Because of this ill blog about events yestetday in 4chan >greentext format (without the green)

>Be me yesterday
>Be on Scarborough train
>Be busy, you sit where you can
>7/10 qt3.14 sits next to me
>Instant aspie
>My phone's dead,playing Phoenix Wright 5 (visualnovelfag)
>Downloaded it last night cause I knew I had a long train journey
>Stumped on courtcase, scratching head in confusion
>"You have to present X at Y"
>whodaresdisturbme.PNG
>Look to the left
>qt3.14 is talking to me
>"That is dual destinies, right?"
>Gets out 3DS, boots up Phoenix Wright 5
>mfw
>We pretty much play AA and talk about AA and other otaku culture for 2 hours
>tfw got her number
>tfw she texted me first
>mfw everything went better than expected

Liebster Blog Award

I checked my phone before only to be told I'd been nominated for a blog award, my first thought being  "Wait, I have a blog? Spam" but apparently not.

I was of course nominated by the corking Charlotte of Eat My Book (not mine, hers)
Thanks, Charlotte

Rules:

• Link back to the person who nominated you
• Answer the ten questions given to you by the nominator
• Nominate ten other bloggers for the award who have less than two hundred followers
• Create ten questions for your nominees to answer
• Let the nominees know you have nominated them by going to their blog and telling them

Here are the questions I got :

1 How many trees live in your garden? If you don't have a garden. how many trees live in your heart?
There aren't any trees in my garden, but one hangs into it and one is deeply rooted into the foundations of my house. That's probably something of concern really.

2 If you had to do one hobby for the rest of your life, what would you want it to be?
Oh God, I'm not sure. I really really really love watching/making Chadwardenn and Smoke weed videos but I also love playing Sonic Adventure all day so I'm not sure. Probably a toss up between those 2.

3. Do you know what a hobby horse is?
Yes. It's like a horse on a stick, but not the kind you eat.

4.What do you enjoy most about being nominated for awards?
It has got to be that message you get when you think you've won an award but you've actually just being nominated for an award which you aren't going to win but you take part anyway because you don't have anything else going and it seems like there could be a mass amount of lulz to be had.

5. This is an open question. Tell the world what it needs to know
The human heart is split into 4 sections, the right and left atrium and ventricle. The 2 sides of the heart could operate independently from each other, with both halves being in different locations in the body.
It's a quirk of evolution that the heart has even been joined together by the septum.
WE EVOLVED FROM TIMELORDS

6. How many books do you own?
Too many to count with my fingers and toes. Like, we're talking a lot

7. What's your favouritest book?
Great Expectations.
I feel like I should have something to add to this but I don't really unless you want a plot synopsis.

If you do, please for God's sake go read the book.
.
8.How long do you spend on a post on average?
It can depend. This post has taken days, and I'm still not done.

9.Has an animal ever tried to murder you?
Well there was this one time I was eating some chips at the seaside and this seagull started sizing itself up to me so I was all like u wot m8 and it still didnt go so I unleashed the tatsumaki senpukyaku but it flew away and i wasted an H.C. bar.
What am I supposed to be talking about?

10. Whats the best thing you ever did, ever?
Aside from answering these questions and that piss I had the other day (omg the relief) is probably get into video editing. I really enjoy it and I've met some goodish people in the interwebz community. Either that or go to hospital, that was fun (I'm serious)

Now I'm supposed to nominate 10 more people to answer my questions, which I should ask 10 off, but here's the thing; I don't read blogs. Perhaps I should try find some people (I will) but for now I'm just going to wrap it up as atleast a blog post, even if I can't win.

Conversation with a feminist

Todays post isnt really a post at all, it's a link to something which I guess  I kind of wrote. Theres a fair bit of content. Whatever
http://logs.omegle.com/86cae08

People calling me out on my taste in music

I was on the internet the other day in surfing on some forums when I saw this thread called "Music Thread NO TECHNO ALLOWED!!! >:("

The idea was that you posted 10 songs that you like, but you couldn't post techno music which meant I couldn't post Industrial metal (a ball of wibbly wobbly Techno Rocky stuff)  so i posted 10 songs that I liked. 

And everyone sent me PMs laughing at me! (Here's the forum if you're intersted http://hp-gaming.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=299.0)

Now just for the record my taste in music is anywhere on the spectrum of Rock (So thats anywhere from rolling stones down to about As I lay dying or Turmion Kaitilot) There are also cool little sub genres too, some more known like punk and some more obscure, like industrial metal. Im also abit fond of some techno type music (but not wubstep) 

So later that day people are talking to me on skype and my phone rings (sales call) and after Id messed about with the girl on the other end abit people start laughing at my ringtone (from where it starts to about 1:35) They told me I should listen to something more "hardcore like Slipknot, or Skrillex (Blasphemy!) I'm sad :'( I'm not a hipster by any stretch of the imagination, I just don't like what's on radio 1 right now. If I want to live in the past and listen to songs from 1995 I say I deserve that right >:(

Also sorry about the whole 2 week hiatus thing. I've been writing this post for a day now

What I did Today

Ive just finished uploading my latest youtube video...for the 4th time.


The intention was to upload a lets play of Chicken Run for the Dreamcast.

Id recorded it edited the commentary in and started uploading it.
It turned out that the file was 5 GB in size (that's big) and I couldn't be bothered to upload something so large.
So I compressed it to around 1GB (that's smaller) and uploaded that, which still took about 2 hours.

The video was then removed as the game contained clips of the film, and this makes sense.
So I edited out the copyright material, started uploading the video.
5GB.

So I compress the video again and now here we are. I hope it's ok. I also made the thumbnail myself which I think is pretty cool.
If you'd like to watch the video (I'll love you forever) you can see it here. It's a long one, sorry.

Fun times ahead for me

Ah christ.
I-Christ.

So yesterday the house phone was ringing. I answered it (as you do). Itt was my Auntie Claire. She'd like to stay from the 17th-19th. Mum takes the phone and says that's fine.
So a few Hours later the phone rings again. Uncle Clifford. He'd like to stay from 16th-23rd. Mum thinks about it and says "Yeah, that's fine." End of conversation.

Meanwhile I'm sat in the corner trying to wrap my head round this and trying to see if I can try and work out some kind of sleeping plan.

But then where everyone was going to sleep kind of dropped in relevance when I realised something.

5 Geordies.
In one house.
Most likely drunk.
;__;

I can't do it.
I mean, It isn't personal, they're all very pleasant people. But they're Geordies. That's, like, a BIG thing. Imagine how incomprehensible and loud people are when drunk and treble that.

Eck. I think one of those days is exam results day (double Eck) so maybe I can make a day of that and be out for a few hours  

Ah Christ.
I-Christ.

Rules of Texting (Ketp'cha waiting, huh?)

OK.
I think its been a few weeks or something. I've been lazy and away.
I also have a cold which is making this  a bit hard to write but I'll press on.

SO. My "rules of texting". These are a simple bunch of rules I follow in order to make texting fast and efficient. I used to dwell on what I would write for long periods of time, typing out several potential drafts in order to prevent my self from sounding like an idiot.

1.Commit to what you've typed 
Once I've written a text, I send it. No going back on what I've put. This way I'm honest (the best policy!) and saves a lot of thinking time, however it also means I could put something stupid or offensive. That's where No.2 comes in.

2.Add a smiley if you are being friendly 
Now, really this is a bit stupid. However, I just feel my messages are a little more welcoming if I throw in a :) or :3. For example:
"You're going to pay for that."
"You're going to pay for that ;)"
I think meanings and intentions are hard enough to convey through talking on the internet or through SMS anyway, so a little emoticon I think just shows that I don't mean any harm. Many a time I've regret putting something without a smiley in order to show that what I put was light-hearted.

3. 1 Word answer=Back off 
If someone sends me a 1 word answer (K, Ok, thanks) that means the conversation is over. Either leave it there if its an SMS or wrap it up if its an IM. I wouldn't want to harass anyone and make them hate me because I'm some highly dependent clingy koala type creature. Also saves me money on texting.

Right I know it's been a shorrt one but my head is all fuzzy, so really you should double or even triple what I've written here in order to see how much effort I've put in.
:(

Big Rambling Rant

Right, so I was on the wrong side of YouTube today. Well, the wrong side is the side I'm always on, so in reality I mean I was on the right side of YouTube but my wrong side is your right side.

Anyway, I got onto the vloggers...ugh.

Video after video of the same template 15-17 year old kids with plates in their ears and excruciatingly hilarious facial piercings. They claimed to be "totally original" and informed the "haters" (I.E. anyone with an IQ upwards of 5) to get lost, 'cause they're just jealous. Yeah kid. I sure am jealous of your ability to pass a small child through your ear lobe. Moving on.

Then we got the compliment fishers. I'm talking about the girls who appear in videos usually named "I'm ugly" or "Why am I so ugly?". They claim to be imperfect and that no one ever tells them they're attractive, so it must be true right? After watching the videos you will realise it is their stale personalities and charismatic similarities to a damp rag that is keeping the fellers away.

You glance over to the comments and you see 2 sorts. Firstly you have the other compliment fishing girls telling them something along the lines of "OMG! You're not ugly you're gorgeous! I'm ugly...:(" only without so much grammar. OP (Original poster) responds with the same comment but backfired towards the commenter. Rinse/Repeat.

The other person you will come across in the comments of such videos are lonely hormonal boys trying to build their E-peen. They tell the girls that they are stunning, and compliment their eyes/lips/tits (depending on loneliness, age and hormone levels of course). OP will shoot back a denial and that she hates her eyes/lips/tits or a cutting remark attacking the commenter's self-esteem and turning the commenter into the OP of another shitty self esteem fishing video.

"Ugly" and "Attractive" don't really have definitions as such. Different people will find different people attractive. It should also be noted "Ugly" is not the direct opposite of attractive, that is you do not have to be one or the other. Just because a person doesn't find blonde hair attractive for example does not mean he will ridicule people with blonde hair for being "ugly". You'll also find that people find people similar to them attractive in a bid to defend their own self esteem. For example...chubby girls (treading on thin ice here...) will berate size "Zero" and claim "real men want curves not skin and bone" (might I add that real men can speak for themselves and aren't all drawn in by the first girl to get her tits out) whereas an anorexic girl may fail to see the problem with being unhealthily skinny. Anyway, moving on.

Last, and definitely least are the ""video" "makers"". And I'm not talking about epic 'tubers like myself. These shitheads churn a song through audacity and double the speed, call that hump of gonorrhoea a remix, record them self dancing like some kind of schizophrenic during an episode while lipping the song. Apply some shitty effects and then we've got a video to ship out to the masses.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls. Today I am revealing the internet's best kept secret.  If you spot a one of these unholy videos that ISN'T edited in WMM, I can guarantee these videos have been edited by a pro. I've been approached many times to edit one of these abominations. When you refuse, the kids start to panic and lay more money on the table. I'e turned down offers of $50 in the past, and I'll tell you why in the next paragraph.

My dear, dear friend TheJuga, may he rest in peace. He took on the offers of one of these kids. After the video was finished and paid for, it was edited further to remove watermarks and any proof Juga had even touched the video. When he tried to claim copyright and post on the videos comments. The OP asked her army of spasticated retards (I'm sorry but I really have no other way to describe them) to thumb down all of his comments and videos and to flag all of his content. After many death threats he left YouTube. Since then, I have resented this breed of tuber.

Well that's all for now. I'm all ranted out.

I suppose I have some explaining to do (>.<)

OK.

So that post yesterday.

Wow.

It wasn't me first of all. I would never...yeah.

Secondly I know who did it. It was done out of jest, based on an inside you-had-to-be-there type joke made earlier yesterday. I don't hold it against them, I just wish they hadn't made such an...exhibition of it.

I would of cleared stuff up last night but I was unmotivated; I was feeling a mix of shock, pissed-offness and a little scared I suppose.

One thing I found weird was that my twitter pass wasn't changed until after I had posted something on there "("@SEGA HEY,HEY HEY! GET READY TO MAKE SOME CRRRAZY MONEY, HERE. WE. GO!
YA YA YA YA!  Im totally buying this" Yeah probably best not to ask)

If I'd gone to post it a few minutes earlier I would have caught the guy before I was even told.

The perp came clean this morning. I would've preferred last night but meh beggars can't be choosers...or something like that.

Apologies to anyone who was worried. If you were worried, I'm flattered. Flattered that someone was looking out for me, I mean :3

I think that's it for now. I have a quota to meet so I better wrap it up there.

British houses are useless

Ugh.
It's too hot.

I'm currently sat in my room trying to keep cool, and I'll probably remain here for the majority of the day.
My room is sporting a black and grey theme with blackout curtains and a wide opening fire-escape window, making it easily the coolest room in the house.

British houses aren't built for this weather. Although when you think about it...they aren't built for cold weather either.

In cold places, like Alaska, houses have triple glazed windows and are built with logs and other 'warm' materials. This level of insulation keeps heat from getting in or out.

In hot countries, like Spain, small houses are built with dry matter to keep the heat out. They have high letterbox windows in order to allow a constant through draft.

Our houses however...aren't built for anything. We have insulation which is O.K. at best and large windows to allow lots of (hot) sunlight in. In summer I wake up sweating and in winter I wake up shivering.

That said, I'd rather be cold than hot. Being too hot makes me uncomfortable.

If this continues I'll have to go get my Dreamcast and hook it up to the porta-TV in my room. But hopefully it won't come to that because I don't want to delve into the spaghetti junction that is my 'spare cables' box.

Confused with my opinion on sport

I don't get it.

Normally I detest sport. It takes up precious prime-time TV airtime and is boring.
However, this week I watched the Lions beat the Wallabies, saw Murray win at Wimbledon and watched the German GP.
What's happened to me? I still despise football obviously, but this is highly OOC. I'm a particularly...lazy person. The effort i put into being uninvolved in sport is incredible. Yet, here I am still amazed by the rally between Murray and Janowicz.

On Friday when I walked in on the men's semi-final I asked Mam "How does anyone find this...exhilarating?"
Well don't I look like the idiot now.

Also, on a side note I found one of my pseudo-scripts kicking about in my room this morning for a video I edited the other day. Tried to copy it up the best I could so you could undersand what I mean by 'writing a script'

• ear rape @ start
• elmo killed by balls
• guy in blue room is antichrist 
• giygas chroma'd onto blue screen 
• alternate ending
• sonic CD < rest is Illegible> 
• ball channel censored
• that's Ball folks 
• Warner copyright block capitals 
• inception horn? 

Sorry its a short post, it's too hot to focus on anything

Trolling: What the media think I'm doing VS What I'm actually doing

I was just surfin' the tubes, when this wild advert appeared:

It made me kind of laugh. All the internet stuff was there. But some things about this video were...inaccurate.
First of all, a dead parrot does not equate to rule 34. If you you want to know what rule 34 of the internet is...I'll let you  find out for yourself.(NSFW)


Anyway, that's beside the point. The point is that this advert and most TV shows try to tell you that Trolling=Cyberbullying. It does not. 

Trolling is a reward for stupidity. For example, a young girl on youtube acts in a provocative manner. A username "pedobear" comments "This is my favourite youtuber, please come visit me!". This is trolling. 

Imagine a girl gets an offensive message from someone else because she is 16 Stone and 13.99 pounds. This is cyberbullying. She commits suicide, the media hear about it and 4chan becomes a terrorist organization in the eyes of millions. 

Serious trolls try to distance themselves from these, what we would call, "mainstream trolls" who are basically 12 year old girls who send abusive messages like "lol kill urself" or "ur ugly" to unsuspecting twitter accounts. Maybe they saw a funny rage comic, maybe they just want a scapegoat to make people feel bad. The point is, in a battle of wits with a real life troll they would last under a minute. I dread to think what would happened to them if they stepped foot in /b/.

Clear-up: 
>Is not a cyberbully
>Sorry to any innocents who looked up R34 
>I don't look up R34 
>I forgot I had a blog, OK

Dating advice for a 9 year old

Last night I decided to fit a quick game of Saint's Row 3 into my TV viewing schedule.
I got in a multiplayer game with this little texan guy.
"Hey, how old are you, stranger?"
"16, yourself?"
"10 next month."
So for about 10 minutes we just normally play the game, until he asks me:
"Do you know how to get a girlfriend?"
"You can't do that on Saint's Row, you're thinking of GTA."
"No, I mean in real life."
;_;
I-
No, just...I'm not going to comment on that. I'll just say that sentence sums me up pretty well. I should get it on a T-shirt or something.
"Well...I suppose so. Do you have a girl problem?"
"There's this realllllly cute girl in my English class but I don't think she likes me."
"Have you tried talking to her?"
"I always get embarrassed..." 
"I understand. It's not easy. You have to become friends with her." 
"Like, make her think that she's safe?" 
"No...well,kind of. I mean you have to become close, that way you can find out what kind of person she is and decide if you want to be in a romantic relationship with her.But you also need to know that being friends is good too." 
Psst...Psst...It's your subconscious here. You're talking to a 9 year old. I just thought I'd better remind you.
"But I want her to be my girlfriend because she's pretty!" 
"Well, think of a car. It's nice if it looks  good on the outside, but the engine and how it performs is the most important." 
"...You mean her heart, like, the engine?" 
"No...Yes...Kind of. Is she a nice to you? Does she ever smile at you?" 
"Once I fell over at recess and she laughed at me and called me a name but she's to cute for me to say anything back." 
"Come on man. You can't let girls walk over you like that. Never take abuse from anyone, no matter how you feel about them." 
"So are you saying I should have hit her?" 
"No, *haha* Of course not. I'm just saying if she's mean, you're too good for her, man."
"I getcha. Just because someone is pretty on the outside, doesn't mean she can't be ugly on the inside."
"Exactly! One day you'll meet a girl who makes you smile when you think about her, and makes you feel warm inside when you talk to her." 
"And I should marry her?" 
"Well...if you both want. But what you should understand that if she makes you happy, friendship is enough." 
"What do you mean?" 
"If a girl makes you happy when you're around her and you ask her out and she doesn't want to, that's OK. You're still friends, that's why you're attracted to her in the first place right? I'm just saying that no isn't the end." 
"OK! Thanks. I have to go now, can I add you?" 
"It's a free country." 
"OK well see ya!" 
I just gave dating advice to a kid. I need a minute.





Well...that didn't go to bad actually. Here, take some endorphins or something.  

Where I was yesterday+ Annoying Cinema things

In the early hours of yesterday morning, I went to the north-east. There was a wedding on (who the bloody hell gets married on a Sunday?) and I hadn't been invited to the service (charming) but had been invited to the reception+meal (I'm not sure that's how it works).

I decided to pay my good friend A a visit (or at least...her house was where we got changed when it was time to go). She told me she'd been reading my blog and could set me up with some indie am-drams that she was friends with at school (see my post from about 3 days ago). Firstly however, I would have to go and buy her a bar of chocolate and some period pain ibuprofen.

I said that it was unfair that big medicine companies would exploit women like that, as if they didn't have enough money. I also explained that paracetamol would be a better choice over Ibuprofen because Ibu' acts as an anti-inflammatory, whereas-

Lesson learned: We don't argue with PMT, no we don't, no we don't, no we don't. Doing so could result in £5 (In coins) being sent flying your way.

So I travelled down the road until I hight the Co-op like I'd been instructed. 1 Mile down the M1 later (well, it used to be part of the M1, now it's A4783635678345678 or something) and I came across a petrol station. Sure enough, it was a co-op.

When I got back, we realised we had about 4 hours to burn. She told me that we were going to meet her friends in the city and then go to the cinema. I thought we were going to see some crappy american comedy *huehuehuehangover3coughcoughahem* but it turns out we were going to see Man of Steel (script needed proofreading, i'm not sure reattack is a word. Also not sure if I can complain about proof reading.)

Ok so part 2

Annoying cinema stuff 

So the 4 of us sit down at the end of a middle row.
There are about 20 people in the room, scattered randomly. This random guy just comes and sits next to me.

Awwwwwwwwkwwwwaaaaard....

He leans over to me and says, "Hey, is this your girlfriend?"

"Oh, um, No, we're related."

"Hey, I'm not judging." (I only realised what he said 5 minutes later.)

This guy is also a really loud mouth breather.

There's a guy 2 rows back shouting out movie trivia about everyone who comes on screen.

I've got A who hits the roof every time there is a loud noise and cries when anything else happens.

And there is a group of kids in front playing on their phones and eating each others faces off (figuratively unfortunately)

I keep throwing kernels of corn out them which pisses them off which is funny, until the alpha 10 year old male tries to start a fight outside. I wanted to just Tatsumaki Senpukyaku the guy but I could do without a criminal record right now. So I just shout "DON'T COME ANY CLOSER KID, I'VE GOT MOVES" and ran off with my homies.

Then we went to the wedding and it was boring and my phone ran out of battery and then shit

My hospital experience

Last night I was sat around watching some hospital TV show about some guy who had sustained an Injury.

"That's bullshit....Nah, surely they wouldn't do that....Why are they giving him anaesthetic for an Angio? "

I was thinking about how much I remembered from being in hospital. Get ready for a post of MGS4 ending proportions. And there won't be any gore or disgustingness either.

It first started of a few days before I was admitted to hospital on the 28th of December '06. I had a really bad migraine; think of the last migraine you had and amplify it by 3 or something. The next morning I kinda woke up with the back of my head really hurting, lying in a pool of my own vomit. Then I blacked out again.

The black out felt ike it lasted half a night's worth of sleep. I heard an Indian doctor warning me of a sharp scratch at one point, which I didn't feel. He did it again, but it hurt this time. Bastard...

Then I woke up. I didn't question where I was, what was happening or who anyone was. Turns out it had been 2 weeks. Had I been under for 2 weeks? My mum comes back from the canteen or something and doesn't question why I'm awake. Turns out I'd been around for the past 2 weeks. I can remember recognizing that this was like my "first day" awake but that I knew what was happening.

It turns out they had already found my aneurysm and I had bled twice (I was actually 1 bleed away from death, fun fact for you there).

Actually, I think I did die at one point.
I was having a dream where I was climbing a beanstalk. At the top there was a castle. A man invited me in to eat some food. While I was eating, the man says;: "Look, its not time for you to be here yet. Someone else has come instead. You can go after you've finished eating. I climbed back down the beanstalk and not a second after I had placed my foot on the ground beneath the beanstalk I woke up. That afternoon my granddad in another hospital passed away.

Now, I'm not going to shove any religious claptrap down your throat. I will say that I wasn't on any trippy drugs at the time, or not according to my med record. I usually refuse to comment on the religious value of this experience when I get asked about it.

So after I just had CTs, MRIs Angios, the normal stuff. Eventually one day they come up to me and say:

"Right. We need to get it out."

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Brain surgery is very dangerous. I'm not scared of death; I'm only 9 after all, I am scared of not being able to walk. When I asked the doctor if I would be able to walk he simply replied "We don't know yet."

Turns out the surgery they're going to be performing is experimental. They use platinum coils to tie off the busted artery and it stays there. Now people always die during experimental surgery. Only 3 or 4 people have had this surgery performed (that's including me) and last time I checked one of them died under anaesthetic.

Now all of this aside, I'm going to die anyway and I'll just have the form signed by my parents or become a ward of court regardless, so I gave them the green light.

Now when I woke up first thing I thought was that I felt sick (I threw up into my oxygen mask shortly after), second that I was alive (relief) and third that I could move my legs. I heard a women say "He's come too." Dr. Godard walked in and congratulated me on surviving. I congratulated him on developing a new form of surgery. He's holding a tape in his hand.

"I wanted to show you something amazing. You shouldn't be thanking me, you should be thanking the intelligent being that is your body."

So I sat up to watch the tape and saw something amazing. Seconds after they had completed th surgery, a new artery stemmed from the old one. It was incredible! I don't know why this happened, but I'm extremely thankful of something. Again, not going to comment on the religious aspect.

After this, I was still in hospital for 2 months.  I got some pretty sub-par illnesses, bacterial meningitis and
papilledema, that kind of stuff. I also found out I'm allergic to cefotaxime.

And I THINK that may have been my longest blog post yet. It'll make up for the days I've missed.  

Tl;dr version: You need to go back to the start and read this.  

Failed attempt at going out

I had some errands to run in town today.

1. Put some money in the bank
2. Cash in Euromils ticket 
3. Buy a loaf of bread OR 
4. Buy lunch

So I got to town at 10AM. I went to the TSB and when I got in there I realised I didn't have my wallet. Ooooooooooooooooooh...>:(

So now I don't have any money for lunch. But I DO have a lottery ticket with a monetary value of £5 , that'll do. So I went to Morrisons and asked the girl at the cigarettes counter to cash my ticket.

"I should have a fiver on this ticket , thanks."

"Um...I'm sorry sir, this isn't a winner."

Now I'm shocked. Then I realised the girl behind the till was one of those "pretty" types, with the platinum blonde hair, 5 In. of war paint on her face, the kind of person I'd like to strangle with a phone cord. She's probably just "forgot" to put her glasses on because she's so vein.

No, she's right, it isn't a winner. In fact, this is a lotto ticket, not a Euromillions ticket.

So now I'm going home to get a quid out of my wallet and I'm going to buy a pot noodle from the local Co-op.

I give up ;_;

My summer/rest of the year/lifetime project

OK, first of all when I switched on the TV this morning, my TiVo had a message for me. It said that after studying my recent viewing history, it will now record all episodes of Dog, Ghost Hunters an Storage wars. Win! 

Anyway, I digress

I've decided in the future there are 4 sectors I would like to go into, I'm just not sure which yet (those being Medicine,Law,Real Journalism or Film)  

The other day I finished writing a (shitty) script. I'd been working on it for a while (a big while) but to due to my lack of will over the past 2 years...meh. I've wanted to start a more serious video project for a while, as opposed to the average brain fart I usually churn out. This hasn't gone very well though, as you can see by this poorly constructed text Check-list 

• Script [x] 
• Revised script [ ] 
• Actors [ ]
• Camera person [ ] 
• Camera [Somewhat] 
• Willpower [ ] 
• Money [ ] 

SO as you can see, this isn't going very well. Still, maybe I'll get it done one day. Maybe...

Whats happening right now

Over the past 2 days I haven't updated the blog like I said I would. On monday I'd had an exam and couldn't' be arsed (Woo, last exam) and yesterday was my Birthday (Woo, birthday) and I couldn't be arsed.

Its weird to think that my life has pretty much no meaning now. My biggest priority is updating this blog (and we've seen how well that's gone)

Sometimes I wonder why I'm here and have big philosophical thinking tangent mabobs (can you tell I'm tired?)  and just sit for hours on end thinking about everything and anything.

OK, I'm going to wrap his one up before I start rambling.  I'm very unmotivated at the moment. Maybe I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I need a good sleep. Who cares, I like being unmotivated its fun because I dont have to do anything.
Christ I hardly used any grammar in this

Famous Last Words

I know yesterday's post was kind of morbid.
So today I'm looking into something much more light hearted; people's last words!
It all started after I was looking for a quote from that Antarctica guy ("I'm going for a walk, I may be sometime") and then I found a whole list of people's final remarks. Here are a few of my favourites (if you can call them that!).

"Maybe they only had one rocket" 
Lawrence Beeter, WWII British soldier who was bunkering from enemy artillery. After saying this he peeked over the trench and...well, you know the rest.

"Well gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel."
George Appel, a convict who was executed in 1928 by electric chair. Guy had a sense of humour. Not sure he was laughing when he got fried.

"Van Halen!"
Dimebag Darrel, A.K.A. Darrel Abbot playing on stage with Damageplan and introducing the next act before being shot. To be honest, I'm not a big fan of the song Jump either.

"Hello."
Graham Chapman of Monty Python said this to his adopted son who had just arrived at the hospital seconds before he keeled over.

"You shot me!"
Sam Cooke, after being shot to death. I suppose you guessed that though.

"Kurt Russell." 
Walt Disney scribbled this on a piece of paper before he died. To this day, nobody knows what he meant by it, not even Kurt Russell, who was 15 at the time. 

"Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? 'French Fries'!" 
James French, another con who got frazzled in the 'leccy chair. 

"Kiss my ass! You'll never find the rest!"
 John Wayne Gacy, a mass murderer. Gacy's last words before being executed by lethal injection. "The rest" refers to the bodies of his other victims. 

"It's stopped." 
Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse. He seems pretty chilled considering. 

 "Schnell! Schnell!" 
Irma Greese to her executioner before she was hanged. 

"And now, I am officially dead." 
Abram Hewitt,industrialist. He had just removed the oxygen tube from his mouth in the hospital.

"Kaputt…" 
The Red Baron said this after his plane was shot down and he was pumped in the chest. He lived for 2 minutes afterwards in which he uttered his final words. 

Well, that'll do for now. Sorry for the late post, I've been gone. 
Until next time!

Fragility of Relationships

So at 1AM this morning I couldn't sleep, so I decided to think. Or over-think in my case.
I was thinking about the fragile nature of relationships, and how something that takes years to build up can be destroyed in seconds.
This kind of links into my previous post about my troubles with texting friends, so if you haven't read that yet simply scroll down to see it.

Imagine if your buddy walked up to you and told you that s/he has a dark secret. 3 Years ago they asphyxiated a puppy and enjoyed it. Where do you go from there? Do you never speak to them again? Do you ignore what they just said and continue being friends because you like them? Or do you just become a bit more distant from them?

A lot of the time I think if I say something people will have this internal conflict. And I'm not talking about when I share my puppy hit list with people, I'm talking about things on a much smaller scale. Sometimes when I'm talking to a friend there are silences where I'm trying to think of something I deem appropriate to say. I kind of feel comfortable with the silence for a second until I realise I'm still in a conversation and I start to feel awkward, most likely giving of an awkward vibe and making the other party feel awkward (If you're reading this and you've ever experienced this I'm sorry)

Giving my Phone number, I don't want people to feel like I'm pressuring them into giving me theirs. Sending them PMs, DMs, Texts, whatever. I don't want them to feel like I'm harassing them. Revealing the super secret identity of the girl I 'like', what if the person I tell likes her too?

And what pisses me off the most is that I don't know WHY I think this! These aren't my personal views, I rarely get angry if someone drags me away from what I'm doing, and I wouldn't resent someone if they told me that they found            attractive. (Heh, I almost let that one slip! After revising this I've eliminated the name. I'll leave that last sentence there because it makes me laugh a little)

So yeah, thanks to my over-thinking I am a pretty terrible friend. This took forever to write cause I'm trying to do some Geo revision. Last exam Monday, let's make this one count as little as the others!

TL;DR I'm awkward around people I feel comfortable with

Thumb Twiddling championships!!!!!

OK, so before I broke up from school I was discussing with a friend my plan for the summer. I replied that I would be twiddling my thumbs and trying to beat my previous record.

It turns out in some counties there are actually Thumb Twiddling Competitions in which people compete to twiddle their thumbs the most within a set time limit!

Now people may laugh at this, but the art of thumb twiddling is a hard one to master. Firstly, you must get your hands in the correct formation, like this:

Once you've done this, you can begin to twiddle. Your thumbs must pass under and over each other, in a clockwise direction. You may find the faster you go, the harder it is to twiddle without touching your thumbs.  This is because twiddling at high speeds requires a high level of dexterity. As a veteran gamer, my dexterity, reaction times and fine motor skills are of an impeccable standard (that said, I can't tie laces; know how, just can't do it. I blame my aneurysm.).

Being able to twiddle fast enough to travel back when equipped with a flux capacitor isn't the end of your troubles though.  The size and shape of your hand-based ligaments can affect your thumb twiddling mastery. Generally the bigger your thumbs, the harder it is. I'm lucky enough to have developed several callus (or calli?) on my fingers, most likely from writing before the days of computers (not that I do much of that any more, shame really). This can make it exceptionally difficult to effectively twiddle your thumbs. However, as a master of the art allows you to develop your own twiddling technique.

In time, maybe I'll visit county Durham and have a shot at being the very best, like no one ever was.
For now, I'll just keep writing on this blog.

EDIT: I just remembered, go to this blog and vote for Noah. I hear you saying "What's in it for me?" Well, you will earn a certain girl's everlasting platonic love!

Texting Friends

I face internal conflicts everyday, due to me over-thinking everything.
Sometimes when I'm not at school, I get very lonely.
Thankfully, I have people's mobile telephone numbers. Hooray! All I have to do is send someone a message and we can meet up for a coffee and talk.
So I reach for my phone. But wait.What if the person I want to text is doing something? They won't want to come meet me in town.What if they're in a bad mood and don't want to talk to anyone? Nah, forget it.

Well, I guess I could just start a conversation, right? Ok. What do I send? It has to be something meaningful, or I'm back to the pulling them away from their things.

"Hello!"

That'll do. Now I'll just wait for the other party to start a conversation.

"Hi, what's up?"

Shit, what now? I can't say nothing otherwise the whole conversation leading up to this point is....pointless.

"Just chilling, what about you?"

"Doing some revision. Need to do as much as possible or I'm screwed for this exam"

God damn, I knew it! What a horrible person I am.

"Oh, well good luck."

"Thanks"

So I sigh and put my phone away. Looks like I'm stuck at home again.
Secretly, I'm thrilled that I just interacted with another person.

I made a blog, are you happy now?

About a week ago, I put my 2 penneth in about about something on Blogger.
Since then, I've had emails every day beckoning me to create my very own blog. Well now I've done it, and I hope you're happy Blogger.
The reason  I've put off blogging for so long is that I have absolutely sod all to write about. Sure, I'm a pretty interesting person (or so I'd like to think) but when it comes to writing things down, or typing them up in this case, my mind goes to mush. Hell, in the past it's taking me a shocking 20 minutes just to reply to a comment on Facebook. Because of this, I'm not sure what my blog will specialize on yet. I'll continue to pour my heart out onto my keyboard (figuratively of course) once a day. For reference this DOES NOT count as todays post. I should think of something to write about within an hour. If not I'll come back and tell you why I've failed to think of anything with my chin at my chest and my tail between my legs.